Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Perhaps I should preface this posting with a little bit of a disclaimer. It was the midnight showing, there were certain levels of intoxication, and I was sitting in the front row. I just feel like it’s important for all of us to be on the same page. That being said, let’s get on with the review.

I can sum up the whole of Transformers 2 in one quick statement: It was better than the first one.

Now, I’m sure you’re finding yourself a bit confused right now. “But Asa,” you’re saying, “the first one was so bad. I mean, sure it had some fun action sequences, but the uneven blend of serious action and ridiculous attempts at humor did not balance out. At all! How on earth could a sequel be better?”

And I’ll quietly soothe you, “It’s okay. I know. I couldn’t agree more. And yet, somehow, I find myself believing it.”

Do you remember the weakest part about the first Transformers movie? Aside from all the pathetic humor that distracted away from the overall plot of the movie. The weak part was that there hardly was a plot. These guys over here, they’re the Autobots. The guys over there, they’re the Decepticonz. They like to fight. A lot. And that was about it. Sure there was something about an Energon Cube, but not even the Transformers seemed to know what it was.

Transformers 2 actually had a plot line. One that was relatively easy to follow. (“Relatively” being the key word here.) Apparently, Transformers have been coming to our planet for a long time. They are scattered all over in search of their energy source known as Energon. The Autobots try to live in harmony with the planet, while the Decepticonz think it would be easier just to blow up the whole thing. There’s an ultimate energy source know as the Matrix Key that can do a lot of stuff, including destroy the universe. And, as fate would have it, Sam (Shia) is the only person who knows how to find it. And thus, the battle begins.

What I liked about this story was that it captured a sense of mythology. There was a lot of history implied in the plot and that tends to make things more interesting. These kinds of twists and turns are the things that keep me reading comicbooks. They don’t always have to make sense, they just have to keep me interested.

However, all that being said, it’s important to create a distinction. This still isn’t a good movie. The action sequences are muddled and confusing. The dialogue is ridiculous. And Shia screams out main characters names at the screen as if he’s attempting to be the next Charlton Heston. (Those shoes are far too big for you, kiddo.)

But let’s not forget the most important thing about the film. As it would seem, all women are whores, idiots, and the butt of all jokes. All of them. In the Transformers world, that is. Not my opinion. Seriously.