Star Trek

Sometimes I wish I had a better vocabulary. Or at least spoke German, since in that language you can pretty much make up any word you want. Or so I’m told. Because if these tools were available to me, I could give you a one word description for the unified sensation of peeling your jaw off the floor, picking your brains of the poor guy sitting behind you, and sloshing out of the theater in the three inches of water left on the floor from crying tears of joy all through the movie. So I’ll have to settle for a collection of words: Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

That’s right. This movie is A---MAZING!

When I first heard about a new Star Trek film, I was pretty skeptical. I mean, who wasn’t? Here they are relaunching a series that could quite possibly count as one of the most dated pieces of fiction in all the 20th century. Why didn’t they just forge new ground and start a new storyline within the confines of the overall Trek continuity? That makes sense, right? There have been how many new TV shows based on it? Five? Make up some new aliens, a cool new ship, some new charming captain. But no, Mister JJ Abrams insisted on remaking the old stuff. New Kirk and all.

JJ, I take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about you. Granted I haven’t said a whole lot. But still, consider it all taken back.

Start to finish, high quality stuff. An excellent cast, ripping special effects, a brilliant script, a convenient twist that allows you to make as many sequels as you please without pissing off any traditional trekkies, and a super-hot green chick!

Even Eric Bana was awesome in this movie. Granted, he probably catches a lot more flack then he deserves. I think myself, much like everyone else, can only think of how terrible of a movie Hulk was whenever his name comes up. But that’s not Eric’s fault. Blame Ang Lee. Captain Nero wasn’t as well developed as he could have been, but Bana sure makes him as creepy as he needed to be. If not more. He won’t win an Oscar for it, but maybe he’ll win Best Villain on the MTV Movie Awards.

Seriously, my only problem with this movie was that I wanted more Simon Pegg. But I guess that’s what the sequel is for.

This movie is a celebration of everything Star Trek as a TV and film dynasty has ever stood for. Even my wife liked it. And she hates science fiction!

While every other summer blockbuster this season is designed to reboot, rehash, or reanimate old franchises in the name of making money with explosions, Star Trek, is a film about the love of film, action, adventure, and randomly throwing in super-hot green chicks. It isn’t often that you get a film that not only delivers action and sweet special effects, but also gives hope and solid role models. Do yourself a favor and watch the hell out of this movie. Over and over and over again. For the children. Of the future.